under the radar

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Posts by under the radar

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  26

  Who are the "Inactive"?

  by thereishope in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this was my starting point in this journey of rediscovery, and i've made great strides, but here i am again asking the same question.

  all this talk re the rc and the shunning of the inactive ones.

  there is no announcement made obviously about "shun sister so-and-so, as she is inactive.

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  under the radar

  Heaven, I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. That's a horrible disease.
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  19

  Disfellowshipped ex-wife Dies - Now What?

  by snugglebunny in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it was a shock despite us being divorced for over 40 years.

  my son from that marriage phoned me with the news of sandra's death a couple of days ago, followed by my daughter.. sandra was one of 5 siblings.

  the other 4 are still jw's.

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  under the radar

  I'm with sparky1. You and Mrs. Snuggles are both class acts! And your daughter showed that her heart was in the right place too. You people, regardless of your actual religious beliefs, have shown far more "Christ-like" love and humanity than the typical self-righteous and judgmental JW ever would. Their actions are based on what others might think or how their actions might be viewed. Yours are based on consideration and respect for others, looking for the good in them and overlooking old hurts.

  My hat's off to you all. Class acts, indeed.
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  135

  I've been found out!

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well, thats it folks.. my identity on here has been rumbled and reported to the elders.

  someone, somehow, has figured out that im a member of this site and - rather than speak to me - has promptly reported me to the elders.

  i just feel sad for my daughter.

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  under the radar

  I suspect your wife's parents are already encouraging her to leave you on grounds of "spiritual endangerment." That's a Watchtower contrived excuse to "allow" a couple to separate when neither has committed adultery but one has seen behind the curtain and no longer wants bow to the self-appointed GODs (Guardians of Doctrine) in New York. If your wife does leave, it exposes your child to enhanced indoctrination in Watchtower cult-think without your being there to intervene. That kind of pressure can have a devastating effect on her freedom of thought and reason and her development as an independent-thinking adult capable of making her own decisions based on facts and not superstition.

  Separation like this often leads to divorce. The "faithful" mate (usually the wife) simply waits out the "apostate" mate. Eventually, nature will win out and now the JW can get a "scriptural" divorce and be free to remarry. This often leaves the other (usually the husband) on the hook for alimony and child support even though he has little or no opportunity to counteract the insidious effect of Watchtower propaganda during his child's most crucial formative years.
  

  I know it's none of my business, but this is what I would recommend, based on my own experience:

  Before this happens, demand that your wife return to you in accord with 1 Cor. 7:13.
  

  New Living Translation

  "And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living

  with her, she must not leave him."

  Don't attack her religion, or give her any reason to feel her faith is "endangered." The Society says that even a disfellowshipped mate is to be rendered the "marital due," so how much more so a mate that is simply inactive or disinterested. So show her even more affection and let her know your feelings about her religion have no effect on your love and appreciation for her as your wife.

  You would be entirely within your rights as "head of the household" to limit your child's exposure to the Truth™, ranging from outright forbidding any discussion of it in her presence to simply not requiring her to go to meetings or in field service if she doesn't want to. You could also forbid her to be baptized before she is a legal adult.

  For what it's worth, this exact situation came up when my son was young. I took the moderate approach of requiring him to accompany his mother to meetings out of regard for her feelings, but not out in field service unless he wanted to go. No one was allowed to "study" with him except his mother. I also absolutely forbade his getting baptized before he was 18. He never attended another meeting after he turned 18, except for a couple of Memorials as a special favor to his mom. Now he's an educated, successful adult who can think for himself. I know that's what you want for your child, and here's proof it can be done.

  However you decide to approach this, and whatever happens, please know that you are not alone and we are all rooting for you. Good luck!
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  39

  "how awful it must be to be dying as an apostate!"

  by purrpurr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i heard today about a former jw/now apostate who is dying in hospital.

  this information was accompanied by the comment of "wouldn't be awful to be lying there in hospital,dying as an apostate!

  knowing that you have no hope!?

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  under the radar

  I don't believe in any god, at least as described in the Bible or any other "holy book." IF, and that's a big if, there is life or consciousness after death, I can't believe it is anything like what any religion teaches. We'll all find out eventually. Meanwhile, if I were nearing the point of death, I'm sure I'd be much more comforted by the fact that I had lived my life the best way I knew how, without any pretensions or judging of others who'd made different life decisions, than I would be by the desperate hope that I'd been "good" enough to avoid being tortured for all eternity by some vengeful and petty god.
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  123

  Message from Designer Stubble to the former JWR members

  by Designer Stubble in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  message from designer stubble to the former jwr members.

  first of all i am glad to see that many of you have found your way to this great forum, facilitated by simon.

  i am sure that after the dust of the jwr shutdown has settled, you will find this to be a good new home.. i would like to apologize for the sudden closure of jwr.

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  under the radar

  Would the owner of JWR be interested in giving or selling the site to Simon or someone like him? If Simon got it, he could handle the transfer in whatever way seemed best. If he had to pay for it, I would bet lots of people here would contribute towards that unexpected expense. But if JWR's owner simply wanted to walk away, it would be a very generous gesture indeed to simply pass to baton to Simon and give his community some sense of continuity.

  I really can't see why this wouldn't make sense. The owner could still walk away completely unfettered. I wonder if something else is at play here. Hmmm...
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  8

  Who was more selfless? Jesus or Brenda Lee Marquez McCool?

  by Wasanelder Once in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  jesus was a perfect sinless human (they say) who came to die for mankind.

  he gave up his perfect life for all.

  selfless?

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  under the radar

  I'm with everyone else here. Brenda Lee showed true courage and unconditional love for her son. She literally took a bullet for him.

  The unbreakable bond of a mother's love is practically universal across all cultures and nationalities, unless it's co-opted and corrupted by slavish adherence to the arbitrary decrees of some mind-control cult. Any particular one come to mind? In the JW world, mothers (and fathers) are all too willing to sacrifice their children's lives on the altar of their own religious beliefs.

  I don't believe in the myths and fairy tales of any religion. But I do believe in the power of love, especially a mother's love for her child.

  A toast and a salute to Brenda Lee!
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  2

  Anyway I am glad I am loving my life....

  by The Rebel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i realize now my father i believe had " aspergers" " ( although not diagnosed) .

  our parents are who they are, and i do not hate my patents for being who they are, on the contary i appreciate how they love me in their own way.

  but growing up with strict witness parents and a father who i now believe has " asperges"" wasn't easy, .

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  under the radar

  Both you guys are great dads! My parents did tell my brother and I that they loved us on occasion, but they showed it every day. I'm ashamed to say I went through a period in my 20's when it was hard for me say it back to them, though I certainly did l love them. It was just hard to verbalize, now that I was "grown up." I got over that inhibition pretty quickly, though, and they both knew I loved them unconditionally even though I had become completely inactive in the Truth™ long before they passed away.

  My adult son and I are very close. We speak and/or text almost every day, and frequently say "I love you." And my Extremely Significant Other and I have a house "rule": neither ever leaves the house, even for just a short errand, with a hug and a kiss and an "I love you." Anything can happen to anyone at any time, and it just seems like a good way to carry that love and affection along with us when we have to be apart.
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  6

  How to distract people from the REAL issues... (2016 convention videos)

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  have we noticed how the videos that are being shown at the 2016 convention manipulatively try to misdirect from the real issues?.

  the video showing the daughter "leaving the truth" and leaving (kicked out) home has been designed to show that her life falls apart because she "left the truth".. then the video series about the "persecution" paranoia speaks about a brother who is not being saved with them in the basement "because he let fear of man etc" affect him.

  then the video all about sergei's life speaks about his old friend who "let information about the truth make him have doubts" and he is no longer "in the truth" with them...and made out like it is worse than murdering and eating a kitten!.

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  under the radar

  Hi Listener! I've heard of all the other points you mentioned, but can you give me a reference about "not accepting financial aid from a non believing family member"?

  I haven't heard that gem before, and the JW's I know have no problem at all accepting financial aid from wherever they can get it. In fact, it's usually the slackers and non-believers in a JW's family that are the only ones in a position to help. The uberdubs usually live hand to mouth because they have little specialized education and prefer menial jobs so they can work for themselves and have more freedom to "seek the Kingdom first."

  I know there are exceptions, but I've seen this exact situation so many times I think it's safe to consider it the norm.
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  16

  I have a plan....

  by DATA-DOG in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  with all of the bat-shit crazy propaganda of late, i'm considering talking to my wife about the cult.

  we have had zero religious discussions for two years.

  the last discussion ended with ,"you have no beliefs, no personal beliefs, because you change your "beliefs" when the wtbts writes an article.

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  under the radar

  For what it's worth, I used the "headship" card to prevent my son from being baptized in his pre- and early teens due to emotional appeals from his clinically and repeatedly unstable mother and her congregation "friends." I absolutely forbade him to get baptized before he turned 18. It was "entirely too serious a decision, with too many lifelong ramifications. You're much too young to make such a decision."

  Some elders and other well-meaning ones tried to talk to me about it, but I told them that was my decision as head of the house and basically to mind their own business.

  On the other hand, I did require him to go to meetings until he was 18, out of respect for his mother. I did not require him to go out in "service." He himself asked his mother, "Why should I go door to door trying to teach people things I don't believe myself?"

  Happily, he never attending another meeting after turning 18, except for a few subsequent Memorials just to please his mom. Now, he is an educated and successful adult who wants nothing to do with organized religion. He has seen behind the curtain, and I am so proud that he can and does make his own decisions about what makes sense and what does not.
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  67

  EdenOne, Mrs. Eden & Son: DISASSOCIATED!

  by EdenOne in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  great news!.

  we are free!.

  as of the 9th of june, me and my dear wife mrs. eden handed over our letters of disassociation at bethel in portugal, thus making official our departure from the jehovah's witnesses.

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  under the radar

  Congratulations! I join Simon in raising a glass to you all. I salute your family's courage and wisdom.